Install Theme

Your web-browser is very outdated, and as such, this website may not display properly. Please consider upgrading to a modern, faster and more secure browser. Click here to do so.

The Mind of Mattie.k

Thank you for drinking. I mean watching. http://www.youtube.com/rustydarockstar
Apr 24 '14
A giraffe sperm being inseminated for #TBT ? As in the beginning of a species that doesn’t even EXIST!? More like #throwbackbackofathursdaythatneverhappenedinthehistoryofanythursdayinhistory

A giraffe sperm being inseminated for #TBT ? As in the beginning of a species that doesn’t even EXIST!? More like #throwbackbackofathursdaythatneverhappenedinthehistoryofanythursdayinhistory

Feb 6 '14

and that’s #GAYCODE …

Jan 30 '14
I saw a woman who looked like Charlize Theron today whilst I was leaving work… and when I say “Charlize Theron,” I mean it in a  “Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos in the movie ‘Monster’” kind of way.

I saw a woman who looked like Charlize Theron today whilst I was leaving work… and when I say “Charlize Theron,” I mean it in a “Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos in the movie ‘Monster’” kind of way.

Jan 25 '14
I found a single sperm in my driveway.. I demand to know who is responsible… Little do you know, mutha fucka, I now have your DNA.

I found a single sperm in my driveway.. I demand to know who is responsible… Little do you know, mutha fucka, I now have your DNA.

Jan 21 '14
A sweatshirt from #forever21 … either they are endorsing the soft drink or #LindsayLohan is now a buyer for the company.

A sweatshirt from #forever21 … either they are endorsing the soft drink or #LindsayLohan is now a buyer for the company.

Jan 20 '14

sending love and support to cece mcdonald….

Jan 16 '14

All that GLITTERS (may be a virus)

I put a disc in my laptop and thought I got a virus…

…but it was just Mariah Carey’s “Glitter" album.

Jan 16 '14
I’m not religious but I could deal with this…. #drank

I’m not religious but I could deal with this…. #drank

45 notes Tags: drank
Jan 4 '14

My secret life and my passion….

i’ve had this on my mind a long time and it’s eating away at my soul… i have to get this off my chest….

As we know I am a devoted unicorn lover…. but no one understands that when i say i am a “unicorn rights activist, liberator, and breeder,” i am…. COMPLETELY serious. The government has kept the laws I had passed to preserve the unicorn species a complete secret from the general public. Only select members of the UN… (NOT THE UNITED NATIONS, YOU MORONS, “UNICORN [protectors] NATIONWIDE. [the P is silent]…know of the existence of these laws. I am the leader of this Unicorn/human alliance. I, alone, know the location of the unicorn sanctuary and wildlife preserve. They are the world suppliers of rainbows and glitter (yes, glitter is not man-made) and toaster strudels (the original recipe, that is…. how do you sleep at night knowing you live a lie, pillsbury dough boy?). I have overseen the breeding of the unicorns to preserve their species. They are very well taken care of by former Cirque Du Soleil performers (because they’re kinda magical, too). One day, I hope to achieve the full liberation of these whimsical creatures; to let them live in peace across the world, outside the preserve. I need to rid the planet of the unicorn poachers. They must be stopped. I’ll keep fighting (don’t worry) to make sure the death penalty is given to people (as well as their families) who hunt and kill unicorns for their magical horns. Now you know my secret…

Soooooo yeah…. Let the madness begin.
Jan 2 '14
soundlyawake:

IT’S REAL GUYS AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL

bizarre…. yet amazing. good for him!

soundlyawake:

IT’S REAL GUYS AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL

bizarre…. yet amazing. good for him!